Well, ladies
I went out Wednesday night even though I knew I had a 6 AM Thursday client. I said yes because my friend was in town and I had not seen her since March and I told myself I would leave early and have one glass of wine.
I had three glasses of wine. I left at midnight. I set two alarms and slept through both of them and showed up to the session eleven minutes late with concealer doing absolutely nothing for me. My client was already warming up on her own, which honestly made it worse because she is more disciplined than I am and she has only been training for four months. 😂
This is not a drinking story. I am not telling you to stop going out. I am telling you something I keep learning and keep ignoring, which is that stress is not just the stuff that happens to you. It is also the stuff you say yes to on purpose and then pretend will not cost anything.
I chose Wednesday night. I chose the third glass. I chose midnight instead of ten thirty. And then Thursday my body presented the bill and I acted surprised. Classic.
Here is what I mean by the bill. Not the headache. That is easy, that is water and time. I mean the thing where your whole nervous system is already running hot before the day starts. Your resting tension is higher. Your shoulders are up. Your jaw is tight. You are one small inconvenience away from snapping at someone and you think it is because of the inconvenience but it is because you started the day already spent.
I see this in clients constantly. Not from wine (sometimes from wine). From staying up too late finishing something. From saying yes to the extra commitment. From the weekend that was supposed to be restful but was actually four events back to back. They come in Monday already wired and wonder why their neck hurts and their hip flexors will not release and their balance is garbage.
Your muscles hold stress. That is not a metaphor. When your nervous system is ramped up, your muscles stay partially contracted. They do not fully let go. That is why you feel stiff even when you have not done anything physical. Your body has been clenching all day on your behalf. 🔥
The fastest reset I know (and I did this in my car Thursday before I went in, still wearing last night's mascara, no judgment): put both feet flat on the floor. Press down. Hard. Like you are trying to push the floor away from you. Hold it five seconds. Then release everything.
That press-and-release forces a contraction you are choosing, and when you let go your nervous system gets the signal that it is safe to drop the tension it has been holding without your permission. Five seconds. You can do it under a table, in a car, at your desk, standing in line. It does not look like anything from the outside.
I texted Clare a 👟 emoji at 7 AM Thursday and she has not responded, which means either she is mad or she is laughing and does not want to give me the satisfaction. Either way I know about the shoe morning. I know about all of it. That is what I am saying. We carry it, in our shoulders and our feet and our voices, and the first step is not fixing it. It is just admitting you are carrying it. 🙌
I am not going to say I will stop saying yes to Wednesday nights. I am going to say that when I wake up Thursday already tight, I am going to stop pretending I do not know why.
Your feet are on the floor right now. Press down. Five seconds. Let go.
Happy Friday. 😭
